


Their Garden

by pastelkanan



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: All chapters are unrelated unless stated otherwise, Also Mika makes an appearance or two, Apocalypse, Cats, Confessions, Cosplay, Dancing, EreJean Week 2017, Eren is a Cat Person, Eren is a Fucking Nerd, Eren is a costume designer and really gay for Jean, Eren was a fucking emo in high school, Fucking apocalypses always get someone killed, Jean is a Dog Person, Jean is a singer and really gay for Eren, Jean is an art student and realizes he's hella gay, Love Confessions, M/M, Mythical Beings & Creatures, Painting, Pets, Piercings, Prom, Someone Dies in Chapter Four, Vampires, awkward boys being awkward, fashion - Freeform, i'm tagging as i go, it's probably fine, they're idiots, vampires are cool leave me alone
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-31
Updated: 2017-04-07
Packaged: 2018-10-13 05:14:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 8
Words: 14,171
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10506990
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pastelkanan/pseuds/pastelkanan
Summary: > Erejean week 2017 // Overarching flower theme because I love these boys and flowers~✿[Prompts:• March 30th - Pets• March 31st - Costumes/Cosplay• April 1st - Dancing• April 2nd - Apocalypse• April 3rd - Fashion• April 4th - Body mods/tattoos/piercings• April 5th - Paint• April 6th - Mythical creatures]





	1. Marigold

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren might have adopted a cat without telling Jean. Whoops.

   Now, here's the thing: Jean had always been a dog person. One of the first things he told Eren about himself back when they met was that he absolutely  _loved_  dogs more than any other animal on the planet. Eren wasn't overly thrilled about that, but he could live with it. Here's another thing: the apartment complex they lived in didn't allow pets much larger than a fat guinea pig, so they'd never gotten a pet. Not even a goldfish. Neither of them were particularly fond of animals that small and dumb, so it'd just be a waste of time and money. There's also a third thing: Eren volunteered at an animal shelter on a pretty regular basis; since he wasn't at a point in his life where he could get a pet of his own, he was content to help other families find theirs. Getting to play with all the animals helped, too. It helped him calm down at the end of every week, he got to see some cute fluff balls find their forever homes, and Jean was always happy when Eren sent him pictures of the dogs. It was good for both of them.

   But then there's this one final thing: one day, the folks from animal control brought in a new stray cat, and Eren fell completely and utterly in _love_ with the thing. It was a tiny little calico, skinny and short and in need of a friend. He found out that it was a girl and that he could name her if he wanted to, so _of course_ he named her. What was he gonna do, pass up the chance to name the _cutest_ cat he had ever seen in his life? And that was saying a lot. He had seen a lot of cats. It wouldn't surprise him if he had _been_ a cat in a past life. He _loved_ cats.

   So he named her Marigold and he loved her _so_ much. She loved him, too, he realized rather quickly. She loved everyone. She was the friendliest cat he had ever met, so he was _sure_ she would find a home sooner rather than later. For the next five weeks, he fed her and played with her every day he was there. For those five weeks he tried so hard to convince _anyone_ to take her home because she was the sweetest thing and, even though it hurt him to think about, their shelter didn't have any no-kill options for animals that didn't get adopted within a couple of months.

   The sixth week rolled around. Marigold had been spayed and given her shots and she was _fine_ to be adopted, but she was still there. Still sitting in her cage, watching families walk in and look at her and then leave with another cat. Eren heard talk that day that due to a sudden influx of strays, they'd have to start putting the ones that had been there for a while to sleep. And he couldn't, simply could _not_ , let anything happen to his baby. He marched to the front desk and _demanded_ to adopt her right then and there, completely forgetting in that moment that he A.) wasn't allowed to, and B.) lived with a man who could live with cats but preferred not to because of all the shedding. But fuck it, right? He needed that cat.

   He got the cat.

   He didn't actually have a carrier to bring her home in, though. He also didn't have cat food or a litter box or _anything_ , so the higher ups agreed to keep her overnight so he could get everything settled before he took her home. After his volunteer shift was done, he promised his little girl that he'd be back tomorrow to get her. So he went to a pet store and bought the food and the litter box and the carrier and the toys and _everything_. Even a scratching post. Maybe he could teach her to use that so she wouldn't claw the furniture or the carpet, the other thing Jean didn't like about cats.

   He left all of that stuff in the trunk of his car overnight, not saying anything to his boyfriend about the cat he was going to bring home the next day. If he said it before he did it, Jean would try to convince him not to. Eren had come too far to be turned around now, so he kept his mouth shut.

   Marigold would come home that next day no matter what.

 

*

 

   Jean, however, was not a complete idiot, contrary to what Eren seemed to think sometimes. He knew Eren was up to something as soon as he came home forty-five minutes later than he usually did and with a flimsy excuse for it. “They, uh, asked me to stay a little while longer today,” he had said when Jean asked about it.

   Bullshit. That was Eren’s lying voice. Mikasa had taught him how to pick it out back when they were first moving in together.

   Even more telling was the fact that Eren didn't launch into some story about the _cute lil babies_ at the shelter the way he always did when he got home. No stories about the dogs, no mention of the cats. Nothing. And yet, there wasn't the air of depression Eren carried with him when something went wrong, so it wasn't like anything bad had happened yet. He just wouldn't say anything.

   He completely _refused_ to talk about the shelter that day, skirting around the topic and dodging questions left and right. It was absolutely _infuriating_ , but Jean told himself that Eren would talk about itーwhatever _it_ wasーwhen he was good and ready, not before. That was the way it always worked. Eren could be one stubborn son of a bitch when he wanted to be.

   Jean’s suspicions were further confirmed when Eren got up at ten-thirty in the morning on a _Saturday_ and got dressed and ran out the door, saying he had something to do. The last time Eren had gotten up and dressed that quickly was the time when they both still lived with their parents and he had stayed the night at Jean’s and Jean had to wake him up and tell him that his mom was coming down the hall. He watched from the window as Eren's car disappeared from his view.

   That guy was doing _something_. He knew for a fact that it wasn't anyone’s birthday and there were no anniversaries to be seen, so what _was_ it? A feeling deep in his gut told him he wasn't going to be thrilled about it, no matter what it ended up being.

   There wasn't anything for him to do but wait anxiously, sitting on the couch and sipping coffee and watching some Saturday morning cartoons that were the only decent thing on TV. Dread gnawed at his insides. If it was anyone else, he'd shrug it off and say, “What's the _worst_ that could happen?” But with Eren, well. He couldn't quite do that. Eren had gotten into some fucky shit over time.

   He remembered the time Eren had talked him into going on some crazy stupid rollercoaster with him. Jean had never had a problem with rollercoasters, really. He had a strong stomach and he wasn't particularly afraid of heights, so it wasn't a huge deal for him. But Eren… he had never been on a coaster like that before and had _thought_ he would be okay; he wasn't afraid of heights either, but the loops really did him in. The second they got off the ride Eren went running for the nearest trash can.

   It was _awful_.

   Granted, Eren probably wasn't up to some shit with rollercoasters again, but there was no telling what he _was_ doing. He took another sip of his coffee and a deep breath. Everything would probably be fine. Probably. He was just worrying too much. It was going to be just fine.

   Then, a little while after he had given up on trying to figure out why Eren was acting like that, he heard the front door unlock.

 

*

 

   Eren opened the door just a bit, enough to speak through without showing what he was carrying. “I need you to promise me you won't freak out,” he said when Jean looked over from where he sat on the couch.

   Jean gave him one of those looks that said, “What'd you do?”

   “Just promise, okay?”

   There was a brief moment of silence. Then Jean sighed in defeat and said, “Alright, alright. I promise. I'll try to not freak out.”

   It was now or never. Eren swallowed and opened the door all the way, stepping out of the summer heat and into the cool apartment. He shut the door behind him and lifted the carrier up to where Jean could see it and its contents without having to get up.

   There was another moment of silence, this one much longer than the last as Jean formulated his response. He eventually settled on, “Eren, is that a fucking cat?”

   “Uh, yeah,” Eren replied, “it's a cat. I, uh, kinda adopted her?”

   Jean didn't say anything. He just kind of closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose and _breathed_ for a solid minute.

   “You _know_ we aren't allowed to have a cat here,” he said when he was sure he wouldn't freak out.

   Eren lowered the carrier and set it on the floor, crouching next to it. “I know,” he said. His eyes were on the carrier now, not his boyfriend. “But… they were gonna kill her, Jean. They were gonna kill her after I had tried _so hard_ to get her adopted and I couldn't let them do that so I justー” He trailed off into a heavy sigh before he looked up at Jean with pleading eyes. “Give her a chance, please? She's really quiet, I swear, and I can teach her to use a scratching post and she’ll be the _best_ cat you've ever met, I _promise_."

   It was true that the cat hadn't made a sound yet. Jean knew from past experience that cats generally didn't like being put in crates and carried around, but this one really _was_ behaving pretty well.

   “What's her name?” he asked.

   “Marigold,” Eren said. “I got to name her when she came into the shelter. Do you wanna meet her?”

   Not really, no, but he wasn't going to _say_ that. So he just nodded and went with, “Yeah, alright. Let’s see her.”

   Eren smiled in that way that made Jean’s heart explode inside his chest and _goddamn it now he has to keep the cat_ because how could he say no to keeping the cat when Eren was so happy to have her there?

   He watched as Eren unlocked the carrier and reached inside, taking out a small-bodied calico. Marigold didn't fight Eren as he carried her across the room to where Jean sat, didn't object to being passed into the arms of a stranger.

   Jean was beginning to wonder if this was actually a cat or just some weird rabbit that looked like a cat. She had long whiskers, greenish-yellow eyes, and a tiny black patch of fur that even dyed her nose andー

   Well, _shit_. She was pretty cute. And then she opened her little mouth and gave a tiny _mew_ and one of her ears twitched and Jean was sold.

   “You have to pay for her food and litter, okay?” he said after a few seconds of eye contact and a slow blink from the cat.

   Eren _actually_ jumped in excitement. “ _Done_. I'll go get her stuff from the car, okay? Just, stay there and hold her so she can get used to you!”

   Jean did as he was told, sitting and holding the cat as Eren ran back outside. That was probably what he had done last night, wasn't it? He had bought a bunch of shit for a cat that Jean didn't even know about yet. _Wow_. How had he fallen in love with that asshole?

   But he was so happy. Eren was _so_ happy. Marigold made herself comfortable on Jean’s lap while Eren brought all of her things in and got them set up for her. He flopped down on the couch next to Jean when he was done, leaning against him and reaching to scratch behind Marigold’s ear.

   “She likes you,” he said.

   “I guess so,” Jean replied. “Don't make me regret this, alright?”

   Eren sat up and surprised him with a short kiss. “It'll be fine. I promise.” He then settled back into his place, head on Jean’s shoulder and a hand stroking the now purring cat on Jean’s lap. He couldn't help but feel like this made them a family somehow.

   He had never thought about having a family before, not really. It wasn't something he was concerned with. But if he could have a family of cats with Jean, that'd be pretty cool. He'd like that. He'd like that a lot.

   For now, though, they just had to worry about making sure their landlord didn't find out.


	2. Rose

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's a convention in town and Eren drags Jean into it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So! It's honestly like 2am right now so I'm not gonna lie and say that this is my best work ever, but I did my best given the fact that I'm straight up aboutta pass out for the night. I hope it's at least readable lmao

   There was once a time where Eren _wasn't_ a garbage can full of anime bullshit, but it was getting harder and harder to remember all the way back then. Ah, those were simpler days. Days when he didn't sing anime songs in the car, didn't collect anime figures, and _definitely_ didn't drag his boyfriend into cosplaying anime with him.

   Yeah. Those were good times.

   Eren _swore_ that it would just be a one-time thing for some nerdy convention that was in town, so Jean went along with it. He could indulge him just this once. It'd probably be fine.

   That was what he had thought before Eren showed him the pictures of the “male idols” they were going to “couple’s cosplay” together and shoved him into a ridiculous “idol costume” and wig and dragged him outside dressed like that.

   “You look fine,” Eren assured him. “It's not like I put you in a maid café uniform. You'd hate that. Although, you probably have the legs for it, not gonna lie.”

   Jean groaned. “ _Eren_. I look gay.”

   Eren gave him a _look_. “Jean. You are gay.”

   If he had been less mature, Jean might have stomped his foot to make a point before he said, “Well, yeah, but, I don't normally look _this_ gay.”

   Eren laughed. “You're fuckin’ kidding, right? You think a white suit and a fuckin’ dark wig makes you look gayer than usual? Give me a break.”

   It was true that the outfit wasn't actually as outrageous as Jean was making it out to be. It was pretty understated, really, just with a few splashes of rose red in the form of a tie and a belt and a shirt under the jacket breaking up the white. And the wig was just plain black, though styled in a manner he would never consider doing to his actual hair. His main problem wasn't really with the colors or the make of the costume, though. No, no, his problem was with the short sleeves. And the shorts. And the knee-high socks.

   What was he, five years old?

   And Eren, _fucking_ Eren, got to wear full-length pants. And Jean had never been more jealous of Eren’s pants in his life, which was a very weird thing to think but there he was, walking into a convention center wearing shorts and thinking about all the ways he might be able to claim Eren’s pants. They'd be a bit too small, yeah, but at least they'd be _pants_.

   Jean sighed. He wasn't even completely sure _who_ he was cosplaying, just that when he had walked out of the bathroom all dressed up earlier Eren had almost had a fucking heart attack he was so excited. Judging by how elated he was, this character was someone Eren really _really_ liked, so maybe it wasn't _that_ bad that Jean had no idea what was going on.

   Where Jean’s costume was red, Eren’s was an obnoxiously bright shade of green. If he thought Eren wouldn't kick his shin for making the joke, Jean would've said that the two of them looked like Christmas. But he knew based on past experience that he _would_ get kicked in the shin, so he held his tongue. Eren kicked _hard_. But Jean always got him back for it. After all, he was the one who actually knew how to cook. He used that to his advantage as often as he could.

   They had a weird relationship, didn't they? Well, that was okay. It worked. Somehow or another, they made it all work out.

 

*

 

   Jean inevitably got used to walking around the convention center in that getup. Eren must have dragged him around the entire center, desperate to try to see everything they had set up around there. A couple of people actually asked for photos. _Photos_. What could Jean do but go along with it? Eren was thrilled that people liked their outfits and even more excited that he met other people who actually liked the same showーapparently, it wasn't as popular as Jean had thought it might beーand he just could _not_ say no to Eren when he was that happy.

   After awhile, the idea of being dressed up at that convention stopped being weird. It turned out that there were more people also cosplaying than he had expected, so it wasn't like it was super weird or anything. Hell, by the end of the day, he could even say he had some fun.

   Then Eren suggested they go get something to eat. No big deal, Jean figured. They'd just go through the drive-thru of a McDonald's or something, right? No, no, that would be too kind. Because Eren wanted Subway. Eren wanted _fucking_ Subway so what did Jean have to do? Drive them to Subway, get out of the car, go in, and stand around dressed like some fucking anime characters while they waited their turn to order sandwiches.

   By the time they got home, Jean had decided that he was _never_ doing this again. But then Eren thanked him for going along with it, saying, “I've always kinda wanted to do something like this, actually. So, thank you. For putting up with me and everything.” And then Eren kissed him in the gentle way that made his head spin. And he thought maybe it wasn't so bad after all.

   Even if he did have to wear shorts and a rose red shirt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So in case it isn't clear, I decided to go with a kind of flower motif for this because. Well. I dunno. I like flowers, I guess?? And it's spring time so?? Idfk just go with me here it's late af I can't word anymore and I'm gonna go sleep lmao


	3. Dogwood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prom is an important rite of passage, right? But what if you're too scared to ask someone out?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not gonna lie it's like 2:42am right now so uh. Yeah. ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

   Eren leaned against the wall next to Jean. “I know you don't have a date,” he said, “so why'd you get all dressed up and come?”

   “Probably the same reason you did,” Jean replied. “Mom told me _senior prom is very important_ and I should show up even if I don't have a date.”

   Eren wished he could scoff at how ridiculous that was, but as much as he hated to admit it, Jean was right. He hadn't asked anyone out and nobody had asked him and yet there he was, hanging out with Jean in the losers-with-no-dates corner of the school gym. “It's stupid,” he muttered. “Who gives a shit?”

   Jean just shrugged. “Moms, I guess.”

   The gym was a mess of glitter and confetti and streamers and banners and balloons. More fucking balloons than Eren had ever seen in his life. He briefly considered popping a couple, just for kicks. But that would make noise and draw attention and _ugh_. God, he hated being there. He looked out into the crowd.

   The pairings out on the dance floor were about what the two of them had expected: Ymir and Christa, Reiner and Bert, Armin and Marco, Mikasa and Annie. Connie and Sasha were together too, although it still wasn't clear just _what_ their relationship was these days. They were, uh, something? Probably? Whatever.

   “Do you wanna just go somewhere else?” he asked after awhile. “I mean, we came, right? Nobody said we had to _stay_. We could just go outside until it's over. I mean, I can't leave until Mikasa does, so.”

   Jean nodded. “God, yeah, I want out of here. Lead the fuckin’ way.”

   A set of doors led out of the gym, which was attached to the cafeteria by a large wall made of sections that could slide and contract to connect the two rooms, led out into an outdoor lunch area. There were enough seats in the cafeteria for the students, sure, but during lunch they would slide open that wall and everyone would spread out from the cafeteria to also occupying the gym and the outside.

   The outdoor lunch area was just a bunch of uncomfortable stone picnic tables around a single dogwood tree, really. They sat across from each other at one of them, ignoring the fact that they'd probably get the leftover crumbs from that day’s lunch period on the pants of their rentals tuxedos. They were still close enough to the gym doors to hear the music, a loud and obnoxious song playing and the excited shouts of a bunch of idiots.

   “How many people do you think are gonna get pregnant tonight?” Eren asked as they sat down.

   Jean couldn't help but laugh. “A few, probably. I wonder if we’ll find out before graduation.”

   “Maybe. I dunno how early they can detect that shit these days. We don't have much time left.” Was it really almost the end of senior year? Were they really about to go be adults soon? It was crazy to think about. They were almost _adults_.

   Ew.

   “Isn't your dad a doctor, though?” Jean asked. “I figured you'd know all that medical shit. Like secondhand, y’know?”

   “Well, yeah, I know some things. But he does, like, heart surgeries and shit. He doesn't do pregnancy.” Eren shuddered. “It'd be awful if he did. I'd hate to hear those stories. That video they showed us in health class in tenth grade scarred me for _life_.”

   Jean rolled his eyes and shook his head. “You're such a baby. It's not _that_ bad.”

   The song in the gym changed to one no less obnoxious than the last. Eren picked at his fingernails and said, “Anyways, I hate babies, so whatever. But hey. You're pretty good friends with Connie, right? Do you think he and Sasha are dating?”

   “Nah,” Jean replied. “I think they just like raiding buffets together. I imagine there has to be a camaraderie between food thieves.” He looked up at the sky. The sun had begun to set, painting the sky in reds and golds. The days were getting longer. “What about Annie and Mikasa? When did that happen?”

   Eren followed Jean’s gaze up to the colored sky. “I dunno, actually. Couple weeks ago? Mika just announced at dinner one day that Annie asked her to the prom and she said yes. I never asked why.”

   “Huh.”

   “Aw, are you disappointed?” Eren teased, looking back down at him. “Did you still think you had a chance?”

   Jean lifted a middle finger, though he didn't bother to look at Eren again. “I got over that and you know it. I was just curious.”

   “Real talk, though.”

   “Lord help me.”

   “Are you disappointed that you didn't get a date?” Eren asked. His voice was surprisingly soft, like he… actually thought Jean might be upset and was worried about him. That, at least, made Jean look back to him. “I mean, when we were freshmen you said that you totally wanted to go to senior prom with someone. And now you don't have a date and you're fucking pissed about being here, I can tell. Are you really that upset?”

   That was a hard question to answer.

   Yeah, when he was younger he had thought that prom was the _best_ possible thing that could happen to a high schooler. He had looked forward to it for _so long_ it was almost pathetic. And then they announced when this year’s prom would be and Jean waited and waited and hoped that maybe, on some off chance, someone actually wanted to go with him.

   But if they did, well, they didn't say anything. Jean’s mom was stubborn, though, and made him go anyway. “Even if you just stand around with your friends,” she said, “I don't want you to miss this experience.”

   So he had gone. By himself. After he had made up his mind that he'd either go to prom with someone or he wouldn't go at all.

   He sighed. “A bit, I guess,” he admitted. “Why? And what about _you_?”

   “I was just worried,” Eren told him. “Really. I worry about you sometimes.”

   “You're avoiding the question.”

   “What question?”

   “Are _you_ disappointed to be here alone?”

   Eren was silent for a good long while, looking everywhere but at Jean. His gaze eventually settled on the texture of the stone table in front of him. “Maybe a little. I, uh, was gonna ask someone, but I chickened out.”

   That caught Jean’s attention. “You were gonna ask someone? Who?” He couldn't think of anyone that Eren would ask out that didn't already have someone else, except maybe that girl from their English class or the cute ginger haired boy in gym.

   More silence. Longer this time, giving the sun a chance to sink lower on the horizon. The crickets started to sing. Yet another obnoxious song came to an end and Jean was vaguely aware of someone announcing that it was almost time for the slow dance.

   His eyes stayed fixed on Eren’s face. A breeze rustled the tree behind the boy, who looked up and sighed after what felt like forever. “I was gonna ask you.”

   Jean's jaw would have dropped to the ground if it wasn't attached to his head. “ _Seriously_?” was all he could manage to say.

   Eren made a frustrated noise and stood up, walking over to the tree so he didn't have to be _right there_ next to Jean. “Yeah. I was gonna ask you out, okay? I-I know that's probably weird, but I just… thought it might be kinda fun, y’know? But it's not a big deal. Just forget I said anything, alright?”

   And then the song inside was changing to a quiet song, soft and sweet and slow, and Jean was on his feet and next to Eren. “That wasn't a bad reaction, asshole,” he said. Eren turned around to see Jean’s hands balled into fists at his sides and his face blushing bright red. “I didn't know you, uh, felt like that, or whatever. You just caught me off guard.” His voice lowered to an embarrassed whisper. “I would've said yes.”

   More of the song drifted out to them as another breeze ran its fingers through their hair. “Then,” Eren said, hoping beyond hope that he wasn't a blushing mess too, “would you… like to… dance, with me?”

   “Yeah,” Jean replied. “I’d, uh, I'd like that.”

   They held each other close and danced slowly, awkwardly, underneath the flowering dogwood tree even long after the song had ended.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually liked writing this one tbh,, I hope it wasn't too rushed or weird or anything


	4. Dandelion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The world after the waters came is a bit different. There are some encounters that can't be avoided.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1.) I totally forgot to post this yesterday so I'm posting it along with today's prompt so. Two chapters today I guess aye  
> 2.) I'm sorry there's some death I hate the apocalypse

   It started with the flood. The waters rose faster than they ever should have, bringing with them horrors from the depths. Nobody could explain why it happened so suddenly, why one day everything was fine and the next day all of the beaches were three feet underwater. The water brought the disease, the evacuation of the coasts and the population moving inland spread the illness, and the illness started taking people out a few thousand at a time.

   A few survived. The floods eventually stopped, groups of survivors eventually started building communities. But communities needed things to survive; they needed food, clean water, electricity and light. They needed a few luxuries too, just to make sure nobody went insane. They needed books, board games and card sets, toys for the children, soap to wash away the germs that clung to them.

   And someone had to go out and gather those supplies, sometimes being away from the community for weeks at a time as houses and businesses they hadn't already raided became further and further away. That was what they were doing, getting ready to go out into a world largely flooded and diseased with the hope that they might bring things back to keep their local remainder of the human race alive.

   “Are you sure you don't want to take one of the cars?” Mikasa asked for the fiftieth time.

   Eren sighed. “I'm not your kid, Mikasa. I'll be _fine_. There's no point in wasting gas and you know it. We’ll be fine with the horses.”

   “I just want to know you'll be okay, especially after last time. I could go with you, you know. Why don't I come with you?”

   “ _Mikasa_ ,” Eren said. “It'll be alright. You know I trust him. He's never let me down.”

   She nodded slowly. “I know. It's just… I worry you two will get in a fight out there without any mediators.”

   “We’ll be okay. I promise.” He held out his arms for a hug, which Mikasa willingly gave. “I'll be home soon. Take care of everyone for me.”

   “I will,” she after they parted. She looked over Eren’s shoulder to where Jean was finishing adjusting the harness that held their cart to the horses. “Jean,” she said, loud enough to get him to look over. “If I find out you started any shit out there, I'll kill you myself.”

   “Noted,” he replied.

   He didn't get a send-off hug from her, but he was past the point in his life where that would have disappointed him. It was hard to believe sometimes that there he was, in his mid-twenties, struggling to survive in a way that wasn't just financial. He had planned for student debt and expensive apartments, not this shit.

   He just climbed onto his horse and waited for Eren to get on his. The two stood side by side, sharing the load of the wagon between them. It was more efficient than each horse individually hauling something, they figured, so it just made sense.

   Mikasa finally let Eren go. The gate of their little community, a large recycled barn door, opened. They started on their trip, not looking back even when the heavy door slammed closed behind them. They couldn't look back. That would be like saying they weren't ready to go, like they weren't prepared for everything before them.

   But they did sigh. Eren first, of course, because he had more people to miss. He had a family in there. He had been one of the lucky ones, even though both of his parents had eventually died. Jean’s mom… well, she was gone. And he didn't have any siblings, no _particularly_ close friends except for maybe Marco.

   Jean looked over at Eren. “So,” he started, “which way are we gonna go?”

   “Haven't really thought about it,” Eren replied. “Figured we’d wing it. Worked last time, right?”

   “Not according to your sister.”

   Eren laughed. “Nothing slightly dangerous is ever good, as far as she's concerned. I was fine. I've still got all my limbs, right?”

   “Dunno,” Jean said with just a hint of mischief in his eyes. “Haven't had time to find out since the last trip. I mean, you've got your arms and your legs and your head, but…”

   “I’d throw a rock at you if I didn't have to get down to grab one.”

   “I know you would.”

   See, that was their little secret. The community was a busy place. Everyone had a job to do, except for the kids who were too young for heavy work. With everyone going and going and going all the time, it was a wonder why they needed any _luxury_ items. Hardly anybody had the opportunity to sit down and indulge in those things. And since there was hardly even time for a game of _go fish_ , there was even _less_ time for things like romance.

   It wasn't like the two of them didn't do their job. They did. They always did well, too. The other scavenging teams rarely returned with as much as they did, because they were the only ones who really worked in total harmony. They could bicker in their downtime, sure, but they made a damn good team when they had a common goal. Sometimes that common goal was to find tissues for the people with allergies, sometimes it was to gather up as much baby stuff as they possibly could before one of the women delivered her baby, and sometimes it was just to take a little while at the end of the day and do _it_.

   Listen, even on the rare occasion that there was time for them to be together in the community, there was always someone close by. Always someone who could hear something they weren't meant to hear. Neither of them really wanted to take that risk. And it wasn't like anyone had the right to get mad at them if they found out what they did out there. They never failed to bring home the supplies they were asked to get. Never. They always worked hard; they deserved some alone time, some sweat and moans and moments of bliss.

   And maybe they deserved to fall in love.

   Neither of them would say it, both of them were too stubborn. Jean would never _admit_ that his heart beat faster when Eren smiled at him, nor would he ever say how much time he spent thinking about him, and he definitely wouldn't tell anyoneー _especially_ not Erenーhow much he looked forward to when the two of them got to go out scavenging together. Eren wouldn't admit anything either, not that he felt calmer and safer with Jean around, or that he did a lot of things he didn't need to do in order to impress him, or how desperately he wanted to gather everyone around and tell them that Jean was _his_ and none of those other fucks could have him. (He saw the way some of the others looked at Jean when he walked by. Jean himself never seemed to notice, but Eren did. He hated it.)

   Somehow, neither of them had consciously made the decision to keep their relationship between the two of them. They just kind of _did_ for no reason in particular, aside from maybe the arguments they'd inevitably hear about how it was their _duty to keep the human race from extinction_ and that they needed to knock up a girl or two instead of fucking each other, but _fuck_ that. That was some stupid shit. Why make more babies when you weren't even sure you could keep them alive longer than a few months?

   Their community was still a long way off from being so stable that they could afford to make the effort to have more kids. Maybe one day in the future their little community would be a downsized version of humanity’s former glory, but for now, all they could do was survive.

   Eren took in a deep breath. “It'll rain,” he said. “The wind’s kicking up. We better get to a town or something before it starts.”

   Jean nodded. “Yeah, alright. How about we head East? There's more stuff out that way and we haven't gone in awhile.”

   “Alright, yeah. But watch your back this time, would ya? You always get fucked up when we go East. There's a lot out there that can kill you.”

   “Yeah, whatever. I can take care of myself.”

   “Can you? Last time you almost got your eyes taken out by an angry cat.”

   “Listen,” Jean said pointedly. “Cats have something against me and you know it. I dunno what I ever did to them, but they hate me.”

   Eren grinned. “Dumbass. If you'd stop walking in like you owned the place then they wouldn't attack you.”

   Jean stuck out his tongue like a child. Eren returned the gesture.

 

*

 

   They had come to a house to hunker down in by the time the rain started. Eren was like a machine; he could detect the changes in the wind and the smells in the air, always knowing when it was going to storm. The area that they were going through at the moment was mostly rural farmland, letting them find a barn to stash the horses in overnight. The odds of anyone else being out there were next to none, considering how small population pockets tended to be and how close they still were to their own community.

   So with the horses and their wagon (which they had unattached, of course, to let the horses move freely during the night) put up, they set up inside the farmhouse for the night. It was a surprisingly large house, two storeys tall with more windows than either of them cared to count. Of course, most of those windows were broken and boarded up now. The house was an empty shell, looted of everything besides the heaviest furniture. It was a rather popular resting place for scavenging teams from their community headed out this way, actually, so even though they had looted it to Hell and back, it still had a vague feeling of home. Eren and Jean’s favorite spot in the house was the surprisingly comfortable couch in the main room.

   Aside from its more… _obvious_ uses, it was generally a nice place to sleep. Jean, being the taller of the two, got to prop himself up in the corner of the couch as Eren rested his head on his chest and slept. It was heaven, being there together after a day of riding horses and, frankly, each other.

   Usually they took turns sleeping and keeping watch, just to be safe. But they were still so close to home and the steady fall of rain outside lulled them both to sleep without realizing it. The temperature dropped in the same way the rain did outside, but they stayed nice and warm laying so close to each other and underneath a thick blanket they had brought with them for their trip. Right then, with the weeks of opportunity ahead of them and the warmth of their bodies in the moment, everything was perfect. The drowned world outside didn’t exist. The beaches were still stretches of white sand, the skyscrapers on the coasts still rose high into the sky, the population hadn’t been decimated. Everyone was happy. Everything was well.

   Their dreams were good.

   Then they were awoken in the middle of the night by the sound of a creaking door somewhere upstairs. They gave each other a confirming look when their eyes had adjusted, slowly untangling their mess of limbs and standing, reaching for their knives they had laid on the coffee table that still remained in the room. Even if it would have been smarter, their community didn’t have gun supplies for scavengers. They were too hard to come by, the ammo even moreso, and they were too loud. In the remaining cities of the world, there was no telling who was lurking around the corner. The uninhabited stretches of abandoned farmland and plains were safer for noise, of course. The community could yell, they could party, they could do whatever they wanted without fear of a band of murderers attacking their walls, where the only guns the community had were posted to defend against any possible attacks.

   Outside, knives were safer. Quieter. Easier.

   They slowly crept towards the stairs. There were whispers somewhere above them, snatches of sentences saying, “...asleep,” and “Did you see… they had?” Eren held a finger up to his lips and started up the stairs first. Jean followed closely, glancing over his shoulder as they ascended just to make sure. If there were already two people in there that they didn’t know about, who knew how many others could be hiding in the shadows? He saw no one.

   Eren kicked open doors as they went, getting closer and closer to the big door at the end of the hall. They got there. Eren opened the door. Inside were two figures huddled in the corner, looking up when the two scavengers walked in.

   “W-We were just looking for a place to sleep,” one of them whimpered. “We don’t have anything, I swear! P-P-Please d-don’t hurt us.”

   Eren lowered his knife and sighed, looking back at Jean. “It’s just a couple kids. Should we just let ‘em be?”

   While Eren looked back at Jean, Jean’s eyes didn’t leave the outlines of the children. He saw when one of them reached for something… He raised his knife and ran and pushed Eren out of the way andー

   “Jean, what the fuck?” Eren exclaimed when he fell to the floor and Jean took on an offensive position. The one who was reaching grabbed what they had wanted and raised it and the childrenーno, no, not children; one of them seemed to be a rather short adult, while the other was just a teenage boy who hadn’t hit puberty yetーstood after the shot had been fired. Jean was vaguely aware of the searing pain, of the older one demanding to know what they had on them and where they’d stashed it all, He felt the jolt of his knees hitting the floor. He heard Eren screaming, he heard the scuffle. His eyes could barely register what was happening.

   Before the world had ended, there had been a saying that went, _don’t bring a knife to a gunfight_. Eren did it anyways. Of course he did. And Jean could tell that somehow, some way, Eren won and the one with the gun fell to the ground, bleeding from the throat, and the other one ran in fear. Jean’s stance started to waver. He started to fall.

   Eren rushed over to Jean, grabbing him just before his head hit the floor. “Jean?” he whispered. “Hey, look at me. Look at me.”

   Jean did. “Dumbass,” he muttered. “Always gettin’ onto me for not watchin’ my back…” he coughed. “Forgettin’ to watch your own. H-How do you think I’m always gettin’ fucked up out here?”

   Eren took off his shirt and held it against the spot of blood blossoming from Jean’s chest. It wasn’t his heart, he told himself. As long as it wasn’t his heart, he could make it. “C-Can you get up?” Eren asked. “We’ve gotta go. I’ve gotta get you back home andー”

   “Do you remember the dandelions?” Jean interrupted. When Eren entered a confused silence, he forced himself to continue, “T-The way they bloom, a-all that white and yellow in the green grass? The way kids used to make wishes on them?”

   “Of course I do,” Eren replied, running his fingers through Jean’s hair. “If you’ll let me get you up, babe, I _promise_ I’ll get you home and healed and we can do that again, I _swear_.”

   More coughing, violent this time, blood now forcing its way past his lips. “B-Be real. I’m not walkin’ this one off.” He looked down at where Eren was holding his shirt in a desperate and slightly pitiful attempt to stop the bleeding. God. What would Jean ever do without him? He had been one of the lucky ones after all, hadn’t he? He had someone willing to try this hard for him.

   Eren wouldn’t admit that he was panicking. That the tears that welled up in his eyes weren’t just from adrenaline and fear, but also from his own sense of failure. Jean was right. He hadn’t been paying attention. He hadn’t been watching his own back andーoh, _fuck_. Was that why Jean was always getting hurt in the more dangerous parts of the world? Because he spent too much time watching Eren’s back instead of his own? Oh, God, no, no, _no_. This wasn’t happening. This was a bad dream, right? He’d wake up any moment now and his head would still be on Jean’s chest and Jean’s arms would still be wrapped around him and they’d still be safe.

   “Don’t say that. Y-You’re gonna be fine.”

   “When I was a kid,” Jean continued, his voice softening as his strength drained away, “I wished on every dandelion I could find. A-And y’know what it was that I was wishing for?”

   Jean’s eyes started to dull. Eren swallowed a sob. “What’d you wish for?” This couldn’t be happening. No way. This wasn’t _real_. Jean wasn’t ever supposed to die like this. He was supposed to live forever, strong and brave and valiant. He wasn’t supposed to be here, bleeding out in Eren’s arms because Eren was a fucking _idiot_ and had blindly trusted a couple of strangers in the middle of the night that happened to sound like kids.

   “I… always wished t-that I’d… meet someone like you,” he managed. “That I’d find someone who’d… take ca-care of me the way you do.”

   Eren held him closer. “Don’t leave me,” he whispered desperately. “Don’t you fucking dare.”

   “S-Sorry I couldn’t stick around longer, but… someone had to s-save your ass.”

   “ _Jean_.”

   “Hm?”

   He realized in that moment how much he had left unsaid. How many things he had never told Jean, how much he didn’t know. And now there was no time. There was to time to tell him everything as he bled, as each beat of his heart grew weaker and more blood poured out and his eyes grew unfocused and distant. There was no time to say it all, so he figured out how to condense as much as he could into as few words as possible. “I love you,” he admitted. “I love you so much, Jean. So much.”

   Despite everything, despite the pain racing through his body and the encroaching darkness, Jean smiled. He gathered the last bit of his conscious strength to barely whisper, “I love you too.”

   His eyes closed for the last time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Brb I'm gonna kms


	5. Hydrangea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As the frontman of a pretty popular band, Jean has to have nice outfits made for him. Eren's got something special up his sleeve this time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is just gay honestly

   “You want me to wear _what_?” Jean asked, not entirely sure he had heard Eren right.  
   Eren picked up his sketchbook--full of art he wasn’t particularly proud of (he was never an _artist_ in the traditional sense) and designs he loved--and held it out to Jean. “It’s not that ridiculous. You seem to think I’m trying to dress you up like a schoolgirl.”  
   Jean grabbed the book and looked at the page it was open to. It was true, it wasn’t a typical skirt arrangement, but the hanging frills around the high waist of the pants were just so… girly. He generally didn’t care if dudes dressed up in clothes that were typically considered to be feminine since that was their own business, but he’d be damned if he’d be one of them. He was successful and people loved him the way he was, with the clothes he usually wore that were nothing short of beautiful but never tipped over onto the _cute_ side of the scale. This outfit, though, was definitely meant to be _cute_.  
   “You’re trying to put me in a skirt that happens to be attached to high-waisted pants, jackass,” Jean said after a little while of looking over the design. “Seriously?”  
   “It matches the theme of the song,” Eren replied. “And I’ve seen the concept for the music video set, and I’m telling you, this is the _perfect_ outfit for it. Have I ever put you in something that you ended up regretting?”  
   He sighed heavily and dropped the sketchbook back down onto Eren’s desk. “I guess not,” he admitted. “You’re generally good at your job. Usually.”  
   Eren leaned back in his chair and pushed away from his desk, the wheeled chair taking him across the room to a corner where he stored unused mannequins. He looked over them as if deciding which one he should take back to his desk with him; there were all different sizes, and Eren never failed to pick the one that was about the size of his client. He decided on one and stood to haul it--and his chair--back to his desk. “I should have it done in a couple days,” he said. “Thursday at the latest.”  
   “I'm gonna kick your ass if you make me look like a girl.”  
   “Hey, I'm not in charge of makeup. I just do the clothes. The folks in makeup are the ones you gotta worry about.”  
   “I'm serious, Eren,” Jean said. “Add any more fucking frills to this thing and I'm gonna have to knock you out and hire a new costume designer.”  
   Eren gave a fake pout. “Aw, you wouldn't _really_ do that to me, would you?”  
   “I'm considering it.”  
   He got a response of rolled eyes and, “Go on, get outta here. Leave the master to work. I'll call you when it's done. The pastels are gonna look great on you.”  
   Jean let himself be herded towards the door. “You better be right,” he said just before the door shut in his face.

*

   “Strip,” Eren practically ordered the moment Jean walked into his studio on Wednesday.   
   Jean raised an eyebrow. “Excuse me?”  
   “You heard me. Take your clothes off.”  
   “At least buy me dinner first, Christ.”  
   Eren gave him one of those _Jean I swear to God_ looks. “Are you gonna cooperate or do I have to tie you up and undress you myself?”  
   “I'm starting to think you'd _like_ that.” Jean started to take his jacket off. This was a regular occurrence, this teasing. When Eren was done with an outfit, he didn't like to waste time in getting his client into it. And since Jean was one of his most regular customers--how many times had he made something for Jean by now?--he was always especially excited to get him all dressed up. The denim jeans and the T-shirts Jean wore whenever he came to see Eren just wouldn't do.   
   Eren shrugged nonchalantly and leaned against his desk, waiting for Jean to be properly half-naked the way he needed him. “Maybe I would,” he said when Jean’s shirt was gone, tossed over the head of an unused mannequin. Jean looked mildly surprised that he got an affirmative response for the first time. “I might not have anything better to do one day,” Eren continued. “Could be fun.”  
   Jean wasn't exactly shy about his body, that much Eren knew. The guy had had plenty of shirtless photos taken of him over time, each one getting a not-so-surprising amount of love. He wasn't a buff guy by any means, no, his beauty was displayed in a slim frame with strength hiding just underneath the skin. Pale skin. Skin that needed to see sunlight more often, Eren thought. Did he never leave his house unless he had to?  
   That being said, for as many shirtless pictures of Jean existed, you'd be hard pressed to find one with more clothing missing than that. Maybe there were photos like that stashed away on his phone somewhere from days when he thought he looked good--Eren knew for a fact that Jean wasn't seeing anyone and thus had no one to send any hidden nudes to--but as far as the public was concerned, they'd never get to see any skin from the waist down.   
   But Eren did. He'd be lying if he said he didn't get a weird sense of pleasure from that, from knowing that he got to see Jean’s _flawless_ legs and the way his underwear hugged every curve and--  
   He mentally kicked himself. He was a _professional_. Jean was standing in his underwear in Eren’s studio so Eren could get the final fitting done of this outfit for Jean’s new stupid fucking music video. He wasn't there just to see Eren. So he brought Jean over to where the mannequin with his outfit stood, giving him a chance to look over it before they put it on.   
   “Oh, God,” Jean muttered. “The frills are even worse than I thought they'd be.”  
   “At least put it on before you decide you hate it,” Eren told him, undoing the buttons of the shirt and handing it to Jean. “There's a jacket, too. Over by the sewing machine. You can go grab it while I get these pants.”  
   At least Jean did what he was told, putting on the shirt and buttoning it before retrieving the jacket. The entire outfit seemed to be pretty lightweight, he realized. The shirt was white and thin, the buttons black, the collar just a little bit more lacey than Jean might have preferred. The sleeves stopped midway down his upper arms. All things considered, it wasn't _horrible_. It just… wasn't something he would have picked out for himself to wear.   
   The jacket had no buttons or a zipper or anything, telling him it was meant to be worn open all the time. It was a shade of pink he had seen on hydrangeas with a white logo of Jean’s band on the right side chest pocket, the whole thing soft and cozy, with sleeves that capped over the sleeves of the shirt. He tried not to think too much about the color. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad when he was put in front of a mirror.   
   And besides, he told himself, it was just for _one_ video. It wasn't like he was gonna have to wear this thing all the time. He wandered back to Eren.   
   “Put these on,” Eren told him, holding out a pair of long pants just a couple shades darker than the jacket. “Just pull ‘em up and I’ll do all the waist adjustments.”  
   He braced himself against a wall to make sure he wouldn't fall trying to get the damn things on. They went on _forever_. There was so much fabric. So much. Eren had him step away from the wall when they were as far up as Jean was gonna get them, which happened to be just over his belly button.   
   He did not tell Eren that his skin burned where he touched. That would be weird, right? Eren had to touch him. It was a part of his _job_. It wasn't like he really _wanted_ to. And all that stuff he said earlier, about maybe actually enjoying tying Jean up, that was just playful teasing. Right? Of course. It would never be anything else.   
   Eren’s fingers barely even touched Jean as he adjusted the shirt to be properly tucked in, as he actually slid his hands down  _into the pants_ to make sure it was all flattened out under there.   
   Jean suddenly forgot how to breathe. Eren had never put him in a high-waisted, tucked-in outfit before. His hands had never trailed that low before.   
   God, he was gonna fucking die in there from a lack of oxygen if Eren didn't stop _touching_ him. And yet, when Eren did stop, after his hands were back at his sides, Jean missed them. Wanted them back.   
   Eren longed for the day that he’d get to touch Jean as much as he wanted. Maybe he'd do it right here in his studio, even. After so many times of watching Jean get undressed in that room, it only made sense that he wanted it to be the first place he had him. But he couldn't. He just… couldn't, could he?  
   He suppressed a sigh and brought Jean over to the full-length mirror on the other side of the room, standing back to give Jean room to look at himself. He was silent for a long moment. Then, “You really wanted me in pink, didn't you?”  
   “Thought it'd be cute,” Eren told him. “You always try to be so hardcore or whatever, y’know? And then this song is so… _bubbly_ and I finally had a chance to put you in something that wasn't super dramatic, soooooo. I did.”  
   Aside from the frills on the waist and the lace on the shirt collar, it was actually a pretty tame outfit. Just very, very pastel hydrangea pink in color.   
   When Jean continued his silence, Eren awkwardly shifted his weight to one leg. “Do, uh, do you like it? I mean, it's cool if you don't. I could get something else done in time if you want me to. It's not a big deal. I know this isn't really your style…” His voice went silent as Jean raised himself up onto the ball of his right foot and did a little spin, testing to see just how the frills reacted to movement. They swayed a little but mostly stayed put, he noticed.   
   “You're right,” he said when he was flat footed again. “It does fit the song and the concept and everything, doesn't it?” He readjusted the jacket on his shoulders. The whole thing was just a tiny bit loose--Eren would take it in for him, of course--but otherwise fit like a charm. Eren must have had Jean’s measurements _memorized_ by now. “I'll give it a shot.”  
   “Really?”  
   “Yeah.” He smiled at Eren. “I mean, everyone already knows I'm fucking gay, so. What's the worst that could happen?”  
   Eren snorted. “Fair enough.”   
   He thought to himself that he'd have to get Jean in pink more often.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯


	6. Lavender

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jean is determined to figure out what secrets Eren is hiding from his high school years.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> While writing this chapter I found out that some people pierce their uvulas and I'm never going to sleep well again

   Eren woke up to a gentle tugging sensation. He opened his eyes and looked to the side of the bed Jean slept on, rolled his eyes when he saw that it was, in fact, Jean playing with Eren’s nose ring that woke him up.  
   “Really?” he practically croaked out, his vocal chords _not_ ready to deal with this. “What’re you doing?”  
   “Just messing around,” Jean said. “Sorry I woke you up, but I was getting bored being awake all by myself.”  
   “Could’ve just turned on the TV, asshole.”  
   “But I’d have to get out of bed to get the remote.”  
   Eren sighed and ran his free hand down his face. The other hand was being held captive, along with the rest of his arm, underneath Jean’s body. It was very, very asleep. He’d never feel that arm again, he thought. “Whatever. Just stop playing with my nose. It feels weird.”  
   “Lame,” Jean muttered. “What’s the point in having it if I can’t fuck with it?”  
   “It’s not a fucking toy.”  
   “But what’s the _point_?”  
   “Your ears are pierced, gaylord. You don’t get to ask me that question.”  
   Jean all but pouted. “That’s different.”  
   Eren shook his head and sighed again. “Get up and get some coffee, dumbass. You’re actin’ like a baby.”   
   This happened more frequently than either of them would like to admit. The exact circumstances varied from day to day, but the long and short of it was that Eren liked to sleep and disliked getting up, and Jean could go to sleep at 4:45 in the morning and be fully rested by 6:00 on the dot. It drove Eren _insane_. And Jean was like a child when he woke up, before he had drank his first cup of coffee, waking Eren up in some obnoxious way and moaning about this and that and how he wasn’t ready to get out of bed even though he couldn’t go back to sleep. It was a royal pain in the ass.  
   If Eren made a list of all the different ways Jean had decided to wake him up in the morning, it’d be a messy fucking list. There was some childish stuff (poking, prodding, tickling, fingers in the ears), some possibly deadly stuff (pinching his nose, messing with the sensitive area under Eren’s jaw; both of which would be deadly to Jean, not Eren, as Eren was no stranger to waking up in violent situations), some sexual stuff that really didn’t need to be named because anyone over the age of sixteen could probably figure it out (and some younger, in all actuality), and some plain annoying stuff (messing with the nose ring, blowing in his ears, awkwardly shaking him). Some days Eren was allowed to sleep, yes, but most days Jean was his personal, living alarm clock.  
   He had a history of destroying actual alarm clocks by throwing them across the room or, in the worst scenario, taking a baseball bat to one of them.  
   He was not a morning person.  
   Jean settled back down instead of getting up, resting his head on Eren’s chest and closing his eyes. “Why don’t you ever show me photos of you from before we met?”  
    _God_. Eren just wanted to go back to _sleep_ and he couldn’t do that until Jean was up, had drank his coffee, and wasn’t being an annoying prick anymore. Mornings were the _worst_. “Because,” he said, “I was ugly back then. Looked like a drunk guy had taken hedge clippers to a bunch of lavender plants and fucked ‘em all up.”  
   Jean scoffed. “What, you expect me to believe that? I’ve heard Mikasa talk about how precious you were when you were a kid. Maybe you were awkward in high school, but I don’t think you were ever ugly. And who the fuck would give a drunk guy the hedge clippers and put him in their garden? And why did he only fuck up the lavender?”  
   “Because they were in the way and I hate lavender. And maybe he just had the hedge clippers anyways and they were growing too tall for his taste, I don't fuckin’ know. Shut up. I _was_ ugly,” Eren insisted. “It was awful. I won’t show you those pictures, alright? Drop it.”  
   “That’s not fair,” Jean sighed. “I showed you my ugly younger pictures.”  
   “I said no. Go get your coffee.”  
   Jean got out of bed.

*

   Mikasa nodded as she opened the photos app on her phone. “Just give me a minute. I have so many albums on this damn thing.”  
   Was it weird and probably a douche move to go to Eren’s sister to ask for pre-college photos? Probably. Did Jean do it anyways? Absolutely. It had been a couple of weeks since that morning when Jean questioned it so bluntly. He found that he just could _not_ let it go. He had to find out why Eren wouldn't show him any pictures from back then. What was he so embarrassed about?  
   For fuck’s sake, Jean’s mom had shown Eren his naked baby pictures. He was pretty sure Eren had kept one, too. Probably for future blackmail when Jean did something that Eren thought was against their _rules_ , but that was a story for another day. The point was that Jean deserved to know what Eren looked like in high school.   
   Jean took a sip of his drink. They had met at a little café that served the _best_ hot chocolate Jean had ever had. Mikasa had gotten a glass of lemonade which was, quite frankly, a total waste of time compared to the hot drinks they served there. But whatever. He didn't come here to criticize her drink choices. He just needed those photos.   
   She laid her phone down on the table and slid it across to Jean like it was some sensitive document. Jean picked it up and looked at the photo she had opened. He stared for a solid five minutes before laying the phone back down and interlacing his fingers, staring intensely at the table as though he was pondering life’s great mysteries.   
   Mikasa snickered. “Surprised?”  
   “What kind of parents do you two _have_?” he asked.   
   “I mean, they're not _technically_ my parents, but… the kind who think it's best to let the kids do weird shit before they have to take on real responsibilities, I guess.” She put her phone back in her purse. “I had the tips of my hair dyed blue for awhile. That was fun.”  
   “But that's just _hair_ ,” Jean said, now taking his hands apart and grabbing for his drink before he lost it. “How long did this phase last?”  
   “Just a few weeks, thank God. The funniest part, though, was that he had to take them all out before he went to school. I think that's why he stopped wearing them so quick. He got tired of taking them out and putting them back in all the time.”  
   Jean grinned in an uncharacteristically evil way. “ _Please_ text me that picture later. I need it.”

*

   Eren threw his backpack down on one end of the couch and followed suit on the other. It had been a stupidly long day and he had three huge assignments due by the end of the week but _goddamn it_ all he wanted to do was _sleep_.   
   “Hey, Eren?” he heard from the kitchen. He groaned. Looked like he wasn't gonna get to sleep after all. Jean would keep him up and tell him that he needed to do his homework and not let him go to sleep until it was dark outside.   
   “What?” he called back.   
   “Remember when you had that eyebrow piercing?”  
   Despite his fatigue, he got up off the couch and marched to the kitchen. “ _What_?”  
   Jean was, of all things, washing the dishes. They had a bad habit of letting them stack up until one of them broke and cleaned them. “And the bridge piercing, too. And the chin. And the--ah, fuck it. You know.”  
   “How the _fuck_ did you find out about that?”  
   “Mikasa betrayed you.”  
   Eren let out a long string of curses before, “Are you _fucking_ kidding me?”  
   Jean continued what he was doing without so much as looking up, drying out a glass and setting it on the towel next to the sink. “So, tell me. Who was your favorite emo band back then? The inspiration had to come from somewhere.” He dried another dish and looked over his shoulder to the doorway where Eren stood. “And don't bother threatening me with the baby pictures. We've both got dirt on each other now. I just gotta ask, why'd you decide to be keep the nose ring?”  
   Judging by the look on Eren’s face, Jean was gonna pay for this later. So would Mikasa, of course, but in a _very_ different way. He could live with that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a few days late,,, and so are the other two I'm working on posting,,, I got a bit behind lmao but I've fulfilled all the prompts and I'm just in the process of posting them now!


	7. Daisy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jean has an art project due. He suddenly finds his inspiration.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is just gay honestly I've been thinking of this for so long I had to do it

   A blank canvas stared at him while a sketchbook full of ideas he decided against using looked on. He sat slumped in his chair, pulling frustratedly at his hair and making sounds that were vaguely reminiscent of a cat being strangled. This was the first time he had ever had so much trouble figuring out what to do. Normally he'd just plop down in front of the canvas and have something started within ten minutes, but here he was, having spent ten _hours_ of his day thinking about his project.   
   “Your final project is to show me something you love,” his teacher had said. He hadn't been really surprised by the theme of _love_ because, honestly, that teacher was such a peace-love-and-weed kind of woman she should have been teaching in a different era. “I want _emotions_ ,” she had said. “I want to look at your works and feel all the things you feel about your subject. Don't hold anything back. Put your heart into it, lay your soul bare in this project. Understand?”  
   And at the time, yes, Jean had understood. How hard could it be? There were a lot of things in his life that he would say he loved. He loved summer days, watching movies in the dark, watching squirrels running around outside the window, the way steam rose from mugs of hot drinks, being surrounded by his friends, watching Sasha and Connie get yelled at for being annoying, making bets with Eren on how long it would take Armin and Marco to realize that they were _totally_ crushing on each other. Stuff like that. Stuff he had trouble putting an image to.   
   The growing ache in his throat put an end to his strangled cat noises. What was it that he loved enough to put on canvas? What could he put on canvas that showed how much he loved it? He couldn't paint his favorite songs, he couldn't couldn't paint the way the warm sun made him come alive after the long winter months, and he definitely couldn't just paint a fucking cup of tea and call it good. This was his final. It was worth a bigger part of his grade than he wanted to think about. He couldn't afford to skip this or half-ass it. In order to put his full effort into the painting, he had to truly adore something that could be represented in a clear way.   
If the hair pulling hadn't already done enough damage to his scalp, he probably would have started hitting his head on the wall. This was it. He was gonna fail this assignment. It wasn't that his grade was awful and that was why it was so important, of course. No, his problem was that this was, by far, his best class. When was the last time he had gotten less than an A on an assignment? He was an artist. He loved art and, apparently, other people loved his art too. But this? This was in a completely different league.   
He sighed and got up. Maybe he'd sleep on it.

*

   The professor/teacher/ _whatever_ -she-wanted to-be-called-that-day (it changed day to day, much to the irritation of literally _all_ of her students) actually laughed. “ _You_ are having trouble figuring out what to paint?”  
   Jean sighed. This was why he didn't want to ask her about it, but three _days_ had passed since she gave them the assignment and he still had no idea what he was gonna do. “I just don't think there's anything I can make work with what you said.”  
   She gave him the most teacher-like face he had ever seen her pull. “Really? There's nothing and no one you think you can put your love for into color? Jean, you're a good kid. A good student. You have friends, you have hobbies. I'm willing to bet you have a love interest, too.”  
   “A… love interest?”  
   “Well, yes. You're a young man in college and you expect me to believe there's no one you fawn over? No one who makes you swoon?”  
   “You want me to paint someone I have a crush on.”  
   She shrugged and leaned back in her chair, shifting back into her more casual appearance. “It's an option. I never said it had to be a _thing_ thing. I meant _thing_ in the broadest sense possible. If you love someone, show me. Make me understand. That's all I ask.”  
   He left feeling even more hopeless than he had when he walked in.

*

   And then, just like that, everything fell into place. He knew it. The lighter than air feeling of love coursed through his veins in that moment as an undeniable warmth gathered in his chest. If his teacher wanted to see the person he loved, that was what she’d get. Because that was the moment he realized. That was the moment all the pieces fit together and everything made _sense_ for the first time. How had he never seen it before? How had he never realized what that feeling was for all these years? He felt like such an _idiot_ but he was so _happy_ it was easy to ignore how dense he was.   
   While everyone was out studying on the grass during a pleasant spring day, cramming as much information into their heads as they could before the end of the year tests, he sat next to _him_. Armin had finished his studying for the day and had set about making flower crowns for everyone, made of fake dollar store flowers but no less special than the real thing. He twisted the green covered wire stems of cloth daisies together diligently, then placed it upon Eren’s head like he was crowning a king.   
   Eren smiled widely and Jean asked to see because he wasn't at a good enough angle to see how it looked above his face and nestled in his hair and… Eren looked over at him, still smiling like he had just been given the best gift of his life, and all of Jean’s air fled from his lungs and all of his blood started to feel weightless as his heart sped up. Because Eren was beautiful. And he was an idiot and never noticed. Never noticed how beautifully imperfect his smile was, never noticed how easy it would be to get lost in those _stunning_ green eyes, never noticed how smooth his tan skin was, never noticed how much he wanted to run his fingers through his dark hair. He wanted to tattoo that moment on his body somewhere and never let it go. He wanted it to go on for eternity. That one moment, that one sight, was somehow superior to all of his previous years combined.   
   This was what he loved. It was Eren. It has always been Eren.   
   He realized that as he worked on his painting that evening, sometime after their group study session was over. He'd known Eren for, God, maybe eight years now? Nine? He couldn't remember exactly, but he remembered how he'd always felt. How he'd always followed Eren, despite everything. Even though they bickered and argued and fought, Eren had always been special. He had always been so strong, insisting that he could do things that nobody else could do. He was brave, walking straight towards danger instead of running away. His fight or flight instinct was permanently set to _fight_. He never backed down from a challenge and he always pushed through. And when he fell, he picked himself back up and kept going. He wouldn't stay down. He wouldn't be subjected to the will of another.   
   And Jean had always admired that. He had always been following him, wished he could be more like that. He had asked himself _so many_ times what would Eren do, how would Eren handle this, what would Eren say. What would Eren want him to do.   
    _Eren_.   
He scared himself as he worked, minutes adding up to hours and hours adding up to days. Had he really felt this was the _whole time_ and never seen it? How blind was he? He couldn't pinpoint any particular moment when he fell in love, he couldn't remember when his heart had decided that he belonged to Eren, but it had happened. It had.   
   If he was going to turn into a lovesick moron while he worked on this painting, so be it. He just hoped he would have the courage to tell Eren how he felt when the painting was done.

*

   Jean didn't know that their works were all going to be put up as an on-campus exhibit until the _day before_. It wasn't that it was a problem in the traditional sense since he _wanted_ people to see his art, but it was a slight issue. If the exhibit was on-campus, everyone would find out. Everyone. All of his friends who knew he had been working on his final and they'd all want to see it and they'd all be there. Which also wasn't exactly the issue, because he knew that Eren generally didn't have a history of being in love with art, so the odds of Eren showing up at the exhibit before Jean was ready for him to know were pretty slim.   
   The odds that one of their friends would see it and tell him instead of keeping it a secret, however, were much larger. And that scared him. He couldn't have one of them tell Eren. He had to do it himself. None of them had any idea exactly what he was feeling, so what right did they have to just _tell him_ that Jean had made a pretty painting of him to the prompt of _love_? That wasn't fair. He couldn't let that happen.   
   So on the day of the exhibit, he went. Of course he wanted to see what his classmates had done--he was surrounded by immensely talented people and he loved his class so much--but he mostly wanted to be there, at his station, waiting for the approach of one of his and Eren’s mutual friends so he could tell them to keep their goddamn mouths shut. His desire to check in on his classmates, though, threw a wrench in that plan. He spent too long looking around. Too long talking to the people he had grown to consider his little art family.   
   He almost passed out when he finally got to where his painting was hung and saw them all there. All of them, everyone he was ready to tell to shut the fuck up. And Eren.   
    _Why was Eren there he didn't even like art that much holy shit this wasn't what he wanted this was all wrong he was gonna die_.   
   And then Eren turned around and saw him standing there and Jean could swear he felt the blood draining from his face. His feet were rooted to the spot as Eren walked towards him, his stomach tying itself into nervous knots. Eren saw it. Eren saw the painting of _him_ , sitting outside in the shade of a beautiful tree, smiling and wearing that daisy flower crown and there was no doubt that Eren knew _exactly_ what the painting meant and--  
   All of Jean’s scared thoughts disappeared when Eren hauled him down for a kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AND NO FOR FUCK'S SAKE THAT WASN'T A YURI ON ICE REFERENCE


	8. Lilies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren seems to have dropped off the face of the earth. Jean isn't having it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last prompt for erejean week! I've had fun writing all of those :'D

   It wasn't unusual for Jean to not hear from Eren for a few days. He wasn't the most sociable of people; he was a good guy, deep down, but before you got to the good stuff you had to wade through more _bullshit_ than anyone else Jean had ever met carried. And sometimes they didn't get along. That was just how it was, y’know? They were both grown men, too, with their own responsibilities that came with the post-college, pre-knowing-what-to-do-with-your-life-now part of their mid 20s. They didn't always have time to hang out like they used to.   
   It was unusual for _nobody else_ to have heard from Eren. He was one of the most annoying human beings on the planet. He'd call or text whoever for whatever reason at any hour. There had been one time that he had called Jean in the middle of the night because he couldn't sleep and wanted some company. He had woken Jean up that night. Jean had stayed on the phone with him all night, even though he went back to sleep after _maybe_ ten minutes of exhausted chatting.   
   He was starting to hope he'd get a call like that again. It had been, what, a week? A week and a half? Nobody had heard anything. Mikasa said that Eren had left her a voice mail the day he dropped off the face of the Earth, saying that he needed to be left _completely_ alone for awhile. That he was trusting her to make sure everyone else knew that, too. She did, of course. But after that voice mail, there was absolutely _nothing_. Nobody had the courage to go to his apartment and check on him, either. If he had been one-hundred percent genuine about being left alone for whatever reason and someone broke that trust, it wouldn't end well.   
   Jean rang the doorbell. He wasn't afraid of Eren. Never had been, not really. Intimidated? Sure. It was hard to not be intimidated by that walking ball of rage. _Scared_? Nah. Jean knew how to deal with him. It really wasn't that hard once you knew him.   
   There was no noise inside the apartment. Jean rang the doorbell again and started knocking. “Eren!” he yelled to be heard through the door. “I know you're in there!”  
   “No you don't,” came the muffled reply. “Nobody's here.”  
   “Open the door, asshole.”  
   “Go away.”  
   “Why?”  
   “Because I don't wanna hurt you. Or anyone, for that matter, so don't threaten to send Mikasa over. I'd hurt her, too.”  
   Jean rolled his eyes. “You can't scare me away, Eren. I just came to check on you. Was startin’ to think you died.”  
   There was a long silence. Jean waited in both curiosity and confusion while no words were spoken. Then he heard, “I wish I had.”  
   “ _Excuse me_?” Jean demanded. He grabbed his keyring out of his pocket and started looking. He and Eren had done a bit of a weird thing with each other, considering that they weren't _technically_ a couple, but they stood close enough to the line that it made sense to give each other a copy of their key when they moved into different apartments. (They would've moved in together, actually, but Mikasa had to butt in and say that it wasn't proper for them to live together yet since they were close to dating but not quite there yet. And somehow Eren had bought into that bullshit. Jean knew Mikasa just didn't want him putting his hands on her _precious_ brother. Whatever.)  
   If Eren had the chain on the door all done up, Jean knew he wouldn't be able to just _force_ his way in. But he was gonna try. “You can't just _say_ stuff like that,” he said as he unlocked the door. Opened it slowly. The chain was not in place, letting the door glide open without resistance. He walked in.   
   Saw a lump in the middle of the living room. It was Eren, of course, being a fucking _nerd_. He had surrounded himself with blankets and was sitting in the dark, staring at the TV screen as if he actually gave a shit about the fucking Home Shopping Network. Eren made a choking noise when Jean closed the door behind him.   
   His head was covered with his favorite blanket, dark green with white lillies all over it. Jean remembered Eren saying that it had been a gift from his grandmother that died just awhile before he was born. He loved that damn blanket. He pulled it closer around him.   
   “Alright, what are you doing?” Jean asked from where he stood by the door.   
   “Hiding.”  
   “From what?”  
   “Everything. Mostly people.”  
   “Why?”  
   “I've… changed.”  
   Jean kicked his shoes off and stepped onto the carpet. He could sense the growing tension with every step he took closer to Eren. It didn't stop him from walking around the lump and kneeling down in front of where Eren. His eyes did not raise from the floor when Jean tried to get his attention. “What's going on?” he asked, gentler than any of his previous questions. “You know you can talk to me.”  
   Eren's voice was barely audible when he said, “I fucked up.” Jean waited in silence for him to continue. “I, uh, went somewhere I shouldn't have. I got bit.”  
   “By what, a fucking radioactive spider?”  
   “By a vampire.”  
   Jean almost stopped breathing. It was well known that vampires, somehow or another, existed in their world these days. They'd come about after some fucked up lab experiments and following mutations, and while it wasn't necessary for someone to be _bitten_ by one to get infected with just _whatever_ that gene/mutation/disease was, it was definitely the easiest way. And the people who had been diagnosed with vampirism liked to stay true to legend. Those with vampirism had bad cases of anemia, starting as a side effect of those initial experiments. Because of legend and the science of iron in human blood, bites weren't exactly rare and those with vampirism tended to eat more red meat than those without it.   
   Over time, the vampirism spread, as diseases tend to do, and nowadays it was surprisingly common. They were mostly harmless, mockingly biting at people when they prefered red meat, but some of them were dangerous. They really _bit_.   
   Eren looked up with misery in his eyes. “I don't wanna bite anyone else. I don't know if I can control myself.”  
   Jean stood up and walked away towards the kitchen. “Dumbass. Didn't you make a fucking hamburger or something?”  
   “Well, no, but…”  
   It took all Jean’s self control to keep from facepalming as he went to rummage through Eren’s freezer with the hope of finding some beef. He did sigh, though. He definitely sighed. “It'll take some time to get used to eating plain hamburger patties, but that's the best way to go about it. And maybe a nice big salad once in awhile, okay?”  
   “Why do you know that?”  
   Jean found some beef and laid it on the counter to thaw before walking back to the living room. “Common knowledge. Also, you're tellin’ me that you never noticed?” He sat down next to Eren. “Inherited it from my dad. We’re in the same boat.”  
   Eren stifled his surprise. “Oh. I'm stupid, aren't I?”  
   “A bit. But you'll need someone to get you out on the right path to deal with all of this, right?”  
   “Yeah. Guess so.” He leaned over further and further until he ended up with his head laying in Jean’s lap. “Please take care of me.”  
   Jean smiled down at Eren. “Will do.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to fuck around with vampires ok don't look at me  
> Also yes they started dating after this


End file.
